put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
being pregnant is like rehab
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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