Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
