i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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