Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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