Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
