The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
