I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
