You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
