Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
