I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
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When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
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Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now