party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?