i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn