i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in