we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.