I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat