For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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