I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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