Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
