I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
