we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
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Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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