D3 body, D1 cock
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
