Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
