My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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