They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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