I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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