I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
