Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
