I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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