So drunk its hurt
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
