wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
