I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
