Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i dont even know how to be here
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
