I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I am midnight drunk by noon
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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