i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
