Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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