New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize