Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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