Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
