feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it because I queefed?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
