Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize