is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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