sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
