I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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