I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
