I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
