How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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