I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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