I am spending my child support on dildos
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
