Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
