I'm lost and stupid without you.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
