Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
