Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
