I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
