i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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