i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
time to smoke my breakfast
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You've changed since you got that strap on
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
