K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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