so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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