Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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