This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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