she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize