it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
