i permit you to call me
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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