i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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