IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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