her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
